My name is Brian. My age is 61.
Eight years ago, my wife died of a lengthy, agonizing illness. I’ve lived alone since. The kind of alone that echoes on wet evenings with only the tin roof drip.
My kids? They’re adult. Married. Settled. They drop off groceries and medications once a month and leave quickly. No need to blame them. They live. I won’t lie… Older people feel loneliness differently.
In the evening, something odd happened.
A name appeared as I half-heartedly scrolled through Facebook. Alice.
My first love. My high school love.
Forty years passed. But seeing her name felt like someone softly knocked on my heart.
Alice’s smile could halt time then. Her laughing filled the room. Her family arranged for her to marry a wealthy, ten-year-old southern Indian man before we got a chance. Right away, she left my life.
Now, decades later, she returned. Also widowed. Her husband died five years prior. She lived with her younger son, who worked elsewhere and rarely visited.
We started with nice internet hellos. Phone calls followed. Then coffee.
Before long, I was riding my scooter to her house every few days with a basket of fruit and candy and joint pain pills.
I once joked, “What if we two old souls got married?”
Nervously, I laughed. But she didn’t.
Her eyes redden. Then she grinned and nodded.
So I remarried my first love at 61.
I donned maroon sherwani on our wedding day. Her hair was held back with a little pearl clip in a cream silk saree.
People observed, “You two look like young lovers again.”
I felt youthful for the first time in years.
After the visitors left and I locked up, I offered her a warm drink and turned out the porch light.
The house was quiet.
Our wedding night was something I never thought I’d enjoy again.
Entering the room. Silently, she folded her hands and closed her eyes. I smiled, approached, and slowly undid her blouse buttons.
And then… I froze.
Her back… Her shoulders… “Her arms”
They had old scars. Old, jagged lines. Years of superficially healed bruises and wounds.
It seemed like a dreadful map of unseeable suffering.
She gasped, covering herself with a blanket.
My heart broke when I kneeled beside the bed.
I muttered, “Meena…what happened to you?”
Trembling, she turned aside.
“He had a temper,” she continued.
“He yelled. Hit me. I never told anyone…
I put her hand on my chest.
“No one will ever hurt you again,” I whispered.
“Except me…but only because I love you too much.”
Shaking sobs filled the room as she cried silently.
I embraced her. She felt little. Fragile. Like she had carried her pain alone for decades.
We didn’t make love that night—not like younger couples.
Laid side by side.
Listening to tree breeze. Crickets quietly chirping outside. My fingers combed her hair tenderly. She whispered as she caressed my cheek:
“Thank you. Thanks for showing me you care.”
Something changed that night.
I learned happiness isn’t huge gestures. Not in youth, money, or fireworks.
Keep it in your hand.
A voice saying “you matter.”
Assurance that someone won’t let you carry the load alone.
Unsure of my remaining years. But I know:
I will love her more than life ever wounded her every day she leaves.
I’ll safeguard her peace. Guard her delight. Be the partner she deserved but never had.
Because this wedding night—after decades of quiet, pain, and waiting—was life’s greatest gift.
At 61, I truly grasped the meaning of love.