I feel horrible, but I couldn’t keep it in any longer. Imagine discovering your daughter is having an affair and then realizing she has been lying about ending it. This was my reality, and the decisions I made afterward turned our lives upside down. Now, I’m left grappling with the question of whether or not I am a bad mother.
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My only daughter, Amy, is a single mom of two. Her marriage ended after she discovered her husband’s mistress. I thought because of this she would never destroy a marriage. I was wrong.
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A couple of months ago, she confided in me that she was having an affair with her best friend Martha’s husband, Stan. I was devastated and hurt that my daughter was capable of doing this to someone, let alone her best friend, especially since Martha had just had a baby.
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I thought I got through to Amy when she promised to stop seeing Stan and eventually tell Martha the truth. I stupidly believed her, thinking she had ended the affair and moved on.
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Yet recent events have shattered my trust. I have been forced me into a situation where I had to make an incredibly difficult decision. Now, I am left wondering, “Am I a bad mother after what I did?”
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A couple of months ago, my 31-year-old daughter Amy came to me with a confession that left me reeling. She admitted that she had been having an affair with Stan, her best friend Martha’s husband. Martha and Amy had been inseparable for years, and Martha had just given birth to her first child.
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When Amy promised she would stop seeing Stan, I felt a sense of relief. I hoped that this terrible chapter would soon end. Amy stopped talking about Stan and even mentioned she was seeing someone new. It made me think she had turned over a new leaf.
Last Friday, Amy came over to drop off my grandkids before going on vacation. I didn’t know who she was going with, but when she waved goodbye, I noticed she was in Martha’s car, with Stan driving. My stomach dropped as I watched them drive away.
I realized that Amy had lied to me and continued her affair with Stan despite her promises to end it. I closed the door without confronting her. I was struggling to comprehend how my daughter could ignore the pain she was causing.
That night, I couldn’t sleep. My mind raced with thoughts of Amy’s behaviour and the implications it had for everyone. I then found myself on Martha’s Facebook page. The more I looked, the worse I felt.
Just the day before, Martha had posted a heartfelt birthday message to Stan. She had expressed her love and appreciation for him in the post. Scrolling through the comments, I saw Amy’s name.
She had commented, “OMG, I love you guys so much ❤️😇.” That was the last straw for me. The hypocrisy of Amy’s words was too much to bear.
I debated messaging Martha right then and there but decided against it. It felt cowardly to break the news over social media. This revelation needed to be delivered face-to-face, no matter how difficult it would be.
The next morning, I decided to confront Martha in person. I knew she taught a yoga class, so I went there and waited until everyone had left. My heart pounded as I approached her. When we were alone, I took a deep breath and told her everything.
“Martha, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Amy and Stan are having an affair,” I said.
“What? No, that can’t be. Stan has been so loving and attentive lately. He wouldn’t be that way if he were having an affair,” she replied.
“I wouldn’t lie to you about this sweetheart,” I countered. “They’ve been seeing each other for a while. I tried to get Amy to stop and she told me she had, but I recently found out that she lied.”
I showed her the texts from Amy, proving the affair, and we compared our Find My Friends locations on our iPhones. Both Amy and Stan were in the same spot.
Martha’s face crumpled as the reality set in. She broke down, shaking uncontrollably. I did my best to comfort her, feeling immense guilt for being the bearer of such devastating news.
“I am so sorry, Martha. I know how you feel and I’m horrified that my daughter could have done something like this!” I said. “I thought after what happened to her, she would never have gone this far.”
“It’s okay,” Martha started. “Actually, thinking about it now, maybe I have been pulling the wool over my own eyes. There have been a few signs.”
We talked for over three hours. She confided in me about her suspicions and how she had started to doubt her own sanity. By the end of our conversation, Martha asked me not to tell anyone about our discussion. She didn’t say whether she would leave Stan or stay with him. I had no idea what was going to happen next.
A few days later, I received an unexpected invitation to Stan and Martha’s 5th wedding anniversary celebration. My heart sank as I read the invitation. I feared that Martha might have planned something dramatic to expose Amy and Stan.
I couldn’t do anything to stop it without revealing my role in the whole situation, though. Reluctantly, I decided to attend the party. I was anxious, but I knew I had to be there to support both Martha and Amy if the party went south.
The party started off beautifully. The atmosphere was lively, and Martha seemed genuinely happy as she chatted with the guests. Stan played the role of the caring husband and father, attending to their baby daughter.
Everything appeared perfect on the surface, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. That didn’t stop my growing anxiety, though. I was constantly wondering when the wheels would fall off.
Then, during dinner, Martha stood up to make a toast. She raised her glass and began, “Today we gathered here to celebrate my husband and my 5th wedding anniversary. You all saw how caring my husband was today with all the preparations. But, it is all a lie.”
The room fell silent, and Stan looked stunned. Confusion spread among the guests as Martha continued, “Who would have thought that he would cheat on me with no one else but my best friend, Amy! And just when Stan and I finally managed to have a baby…”
The room was filled with gasps, and all eyes turned to Amy, who looked horrified.
Martha went on, “Amy, you were my best friend for all these years. I stayed by your side when your husband left you for a mistress. Now, you are a mistress, and I will be a single mother soon. I regret helping you in your darkest time!”
“And stan,” Martha continued, “I want a divorce. I have all the evidence of you cheating on me and I plan on using it in court.”
With tears in her eyes, she concluded, “Happy 5th anniversary to us!” and turned on a big screen that displayed happy photos of her life with Stan and their daughter, set to sweet music.
Martha left the party in tears, with Stan running after her. The guests were left in shock, and Amy, visibly embarrassed, quickly left the party as well. I felt a mix of emotions—guilt, relief, and sorrow—as I witnessed the result of my actions.
Amy didn’t find out that I was the one who revealed her secret. She agreed to go to therapy and cut all ties with Stan. Now, I’m at home, hoping and praying that I did the right thing.
My biggest fear is that Amy will discover that I was the one who betrayed her. I’m scared she might stop letting me see my grandkids. But I couldn’t let my daughter continue with such destructive behavior without facing consequences. Am I a bad mother after I betrayed my own daughter?