In the event that my mother-in-law moved into our house without prior notice, I first believed that it was due to a problem with the plumbing. As it turned out, she was on a different assignment. Let me tell you, her strategies were much more ruthless than I could have ever thought they would be.
I had a hard and tiring day, and when I got home that evening, I wanted nothing more than to be alone and have some peace and quiet. On the other hand, the moment I opened the door, I was aware that something was amiss. Everywhere you looked, there were boxes. It caused my heart to skip a beat.
After dropping my luggage at the entrance and carefully stepping over a pile of shoes, I proceeded down the hallway, following the trail of mess that had been left behind. The moment I saw her was then. The guest room was occupied by Jane, my mother-in-law, who was unpacking her belongings as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
The bed was covered in a jumbled mess of clothing. At the same time that her floral scent clung to the air, photographs of her pets had already taken up residence on the nightstand.
“Mom?” My tone was tense, and I attempted to maintain a cool demeanor. “What’s going on?”
She waved her hand and said in a nonchalant manner, “Oh, didn’t Joe tell you? ” without even a single glance in my way. There was a little “incident” at my residence. When pipes ruptured, the whole area became inundated. Until everything is resolved, I will remain in this location for some time.
I blinked my eyes. Is there flooding? That didn’t make any sense to me. Everything in her home was of the highest quality, and it had just had a complete renovation. Up to this point, I had not come across a single complaint about it.
Just as I was beginning to make sense of everything, Joe materialized from behind me. It seemed as if he was guilty, and his eyes darted away from mine. “Yeah… about that.” The uncomfortable movement of his weight was caused by his rubbing the back of his neck. “Mom is going to remain with us for a little while. For the time being, till the home is repaired.”
“And you didn’t think to tell me?” Through my keen gaze, I inquired.
With a shrug, he pretended that it was no great issue. “This is just going to be for a little period, darling. You and your mother get along well, right?
To get along? If by “get along,” he meant the passive-aggressive statements about how we had been married for six years and yet hadn’t given her any grandchildren, then I would not be surprised if he really meant such words. We were the truest of friends. On the other hand, I forced myself to grin, the type of smile that you give when you are on the verge of losing your cool. Without a doubt. It is quite clear to me.”
I waited for a few hours before getting up to drink some water, after I had feigned that everything was alright. As I walked by the kitchen, I could hear them conversing in a low conversational tone.
“You didn’t tell her the real reason, did you?” There was a sharpness to Jane’s voice, as if it were a dagger cutting through the darkness.
Joe had a sigh. But no, Mom. It wasn’t me.”
“Well,” Jane grumbled, “I’m here to keep an eye on things,” she said. Having been married for such a long time without having any children… somebody has to find out what’s going on. Don’t be concerned; I’ll take care of it.”
My gut was in a knot. This has nothing to do with pipes. It was her intention to snoop around. to exert pressure on me about children. in order to “handle” me. My blood was boiling as I stood there in the corridor, helpless. What the heck was I walking into? I simply stepped in.
I awoke the next morning with a strategy before me. My little game would be played if Jane chose to play it, and I would play it. On the other hand, I had no intention of engaging in a contest of wits with her. Instead, I was going to murder her in a kind manner. At eight o’clock in the morning, I had already begun the first step of my “operation.”
The whole of our master bedroom was cleaned out by me. Each and every article of clothing, each and every photo frame, and each and every relic of Joe and I were crammed into the little lodging room. I went so far as to locate Jane’s preferred flowery bedspread in the back of the linen closet and lay it out across the bed as if I were preparing a five-star hotel suite.
When I was finished, I came to a stop at the doorway and took a look at my work. The duvet was spotless, her cat photographs were arranged in a row on the dresser, and to put the cherry on top, I customized a basket with the words “Welcome to Your New Home” at the top. There are bath bombs, candles perfumed with lavender, and luxury chocolates.
I had already arranged our clothing into whatever space I could find in the crowded guest room by the time Joe returned home from work. I was sitting there when he arrived a few minutes later. As he entered, a look of bewilderment could be seen on his brow. “Why are you in here?” He took a quick glance around the bend. “Where’s our stuff?”
“Oh, I moved everything,” I answered as I turned to face him with the most endearing grin I could manage. Are you of the opinion that your mother is deserving of the master bedroom? It is only right and proper. We are not as much in need of the space as she is.
When he saw it, his eyes widened in shock. “You… gave her our bedroom?”
My response was, “Of course,” and I smiled. After all, she is a member of the family. We won’t have any problems right here.”
There, Joe stood with his mouth half open, trying to make sense of what I had done. So what could he possibly say? Due to the fact that Jane was his mother, I was not legally in violation of any laws. After he had finished his sigh, he left the room without uttering a single word.
In the next several days, I made certain that Jane was enjoying a life befitting a queen. Those lavender candles that I knew she loved, fresh towels every morning, and tiny nibbles left on the nightstand were all things that I made sure she had.
She smiled at me as if she had triumphed over an opponent as she strolled about the home as if she owned the place. On the other hand, Joe was beginning to show signs of weakness while Jane was basking in the opulence of her surroundings. It was driving him absolutely insane to share the guest room. In addition to the shortage of space, his mother’s new fixation with getting him ready for parenthood is a contributing factor.
Every every morning, she would offer him a regimen of vitamins, and she never failed to do so.
It was her way of saying, “You need to take these, Joe,” as she threw a multivitamin in his direction. “It’s important to get your body ready if you want healthy kids.”
Even though Joe would roll his eyes, he would nevertheless take the medications in order to calm her down.
But that wasn’t the end of it. While they were eating supper, she would inquire, “Should you really be watching TV at night?” “That is not very baby-friendly,” she said. It might be beneficial for you to read parenting literature. Or engaging in physical activity. There will be no more video games! It’s time for you to grow up, Joe. Being a father is a tremendous duty.
On the fourth day, I saw Joe sitting on the side of the bed, gazing at a stack of parenting books that his mother had purchased online.
Under his breath, he murmured, “I think I’m losing it,” while holding up a book with the title “What to Expect When you’re expecting.” “She expects me to read this.”
And I couldn’t help but crack a grin. “Well, Joe,” I remarked, trying to contain my laughter, “you did say that we would be just fine, didn’t you have that right?”
It was unrelenting in its pursuit. The situation had been carried to a higher level by Jane. She presented Joe with a list of items that were “fertility-boosting” that had been carefully printed down earlier. No more burgers or pizza; instead, we’ll be eating quinoa, grilled salmon, and kale. It seemed as if she was doing him the biggest favor in the world by smiling warmly at him.
“Your children in the future will be grateful to you,” she chirped.
Joe gazed at the list as if it were a sentence condemning him to death. “Wait, there is no pizza? At any point?”
“That’s right, dear,” she smiled and patted his shoulder as she said. All of your meals for the week have been planned out by me. You’ll notice a significant improvement in your mood after you begin eating properly.
That evening, when we were having supper, we were seated around the table, eating insipid greens and dry fish. Keeping a vigilant check on Joe, Jane’s gaze darted from his plate to his face as she studied him intently. Uncomfortably, he altered his position while picking at his meal.
“Joe,” she began, “did you take your vitamins while you were awake this morning?”
He heaved a sigh as he placed a fork into the kale salad. It’s true, Mom. I was the one who snatched them.”
Also, what about going to the gym? When did you find the time to do that? I’ve noticed that you’ve gained a little bit of weight. If you want to be a good parent, it is essential to maintain a healthy body fitness level.
I had no control over it. In an effort to prevent myself from busting out laughing, I kicked him beneath the table a few times. His gaze was divided between irritation and desperation as he looked at me with a look of emotion. As the days went by, he was finally beginning to feel the effects of it.
It was later that night that Joe turned to me and rubbed his temples. Jane had already gone to bed by that point. He spoke in a low tone that was almost imploring. “Tiana, I am unable to endure this any longer. Whether it be the pregnancy talk, the vitamins, or the guest room… I’m going completely mad.”
In an effort to deny a grin, I bit the corner of my lip. “You have to admit,” I replied, unable to contain my delight, “it’s kind of funny.” I was unable to get the amusement out of my voice.
The pupils of his eyes contracted. “It’s not funny.”
I let out a smirk and a chuckle. “Okay, okay, it’s a little funny.”
Joe moaned and then fell upon the bed, unable to move. “I made reservations for her at the hotel that is two blocks away. One more day of this is too much for me to bear.
For breakfast the next morning, he was the one who broke the news.
Until the repairs at your property are completed, I have made reservations for you to stay at a lovely hotel in the area. There, you will feel a great deal more like yourself.
Clearly taken aback, she blinked her eyes. But I’m doing really great in this location! What’s more, isn’t it about time that you two started taking the idea of giving me grandchildren seriously?
Joe’s jaw was clinched tightly. When we are ready, we will make a decision about it, Mom. For the time being, the hotel is the most suitable option for everyone.
Jane did nothing except look at him for a little period. After coming to the realization that she had nothing to stand on, she grudgingly gave a nod. “Well… if you insist.”
She had left by the time the day came to a close. The home was once again ours to own.
Joe let out a big sigh of relief as he sank into the sofa just as the door clicked shut behind her. “Finally.”
I chuckled to myself as I sank down next to him. “So… kale for dinner?”
The man moaned. “Never again.”